I really love Katy Perry's version of the song Black and Gold by some strange man. I think it's about God. Also, I hate Kelly Clarkson's version of Katy Perry's demo called Long Shot. Yeah. Katy was so much better.
I love the old Katy Perry.
Let's discuss the weekend.
On Friday I went to this movie festival thing with Gabe and my old enemy/friend Amandy. It basically showed like underground cult films like Teeth, Repo! The Genetic Opera and some other shit that was really cheesy.
Gabe drove me home and then he proceeded to make a comment about I had once seen his dick because of that new tattoo he has...WHICH AIN'T ON HIS COCK.
And then he grabbed my crotch, and rubbed it....annnnnnd, he undid my jeans. I didn't say anything. I was kinda in shock? And I started breathing really hard and his head went down and blah blah blah and I was like "Wait, stop...Get off" and I pushed his head away (his hair is super soft) and got out of the car...but I eventually got back in so he could take me home.
I spent the night at my dad's that night, and I think he's been cutting himself. He has slashes on both wrists, really deep, and I'm not sure how to bring this up to him. I'm fucking worried and freaked out. What do I do?
Saturday I came home, and my mom had a fucking attitude problem. I was supposed to hang out with Cherish but I got in trouble for no reason because I apparently had an attitude. Bitch was pmsing. So I couldn't "kick it" with Cherish. But that night, I went to this after-prom part at the school and it was sooo amazingly fun.
The food was cold, but there was karaoke and horrible singers who really got into it. My mentally challenged friend who I love so much was great fun to laugh WITH. You should have seen her shaking it. I did do some dirtydancing...I got nasty. I only did it when Cherish wasn't near me though. I just felt really awkward if she was around, so I didn't do it. Also, she got pretty upset about some girl dancing like the biggest fucking whore ever. I gave my friend Erica a lap dance, laughed with Olivia. I spanked people. I called Shelly Sherry and Shelby like 7 times. I spanked people, made a fool of myself. I'm normally a very uptight person when it comes to dancing, laughing, and social events. I feel like I loosened up, even if no one else saw it. When people asked me if I was gay I yelled "holla!" and high fived. I did the limbo and sucked at it. I screamed "Dial soup!" At the top of my lungs. Olivia and I snuck out and snuck back in:P I also realized that I'm really a people person. I talked to a lot of people I didn't know. It finally occurred to me that not everyone hates me, and the people who do do so because I tend to be mean or act like a freak around them. They see me at my worst.
I realized I'm a pretty cool kid, and that I'm a nice guy.
I really don't want to talk about Chris a lot. I do want to thank him though. I finally realized I don't need to depend on him, or anyone else to be happy and have a great time. I miss him, and I love him, but I don't need him. I'm my own person. This break up taught me to go out and have fun and just get over whatever is bothering me. (I'm not really over it though). Also, I guess Chris never actually said It's over. He brought that up. So I'm not sure if I have a boyfriend or not.
I have school tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited. I'm happier. I don't think It's cause I don't have Chris. I think it's because I had to do something to get my mind off him, and I finally fucking realized living is not so bad. I want to go out every weekend now. I want to get good grades. I want to have more friends and I want a better relationship with my parents.
My bubble world isn't the only world there is...Don't get me wrong, it's the fucking best there is, but now that I'm more...loose I think I can begin starting up my bubble blower and sending those translucent bitches everywhere.
Long live the bubbles.
And long live the filthy pop music.
