Is it over yet?

I'm always told I'm just so funny. I tell these stories, and they make people laugh.

I've developed my humor very well, I think.

It wasn't that hard. I just turn all the sad horrible things in life into funnies. I'm clumsy and ditsy, but when I trip I bust up laughing. It's that simple. As for the stories?

They're funny.

Also, I tell insults. I say random things. I'm rude and horrible, and mean and cruel. I am blunt.

How did I come up with anything? Why am I funny?

Simple.

I was a child who needed to talk all the time.

I just blabber and blabber. I'm very opinionated. Eventually, you learn that not everyone in the universe wants to hear you talk. It becomes annoying, of course.

So I made it funny.

"I fell off the porch today" became "I was singing this song, and dancing down the stairs like people from those old cheesy movies...the ones with Audrey Hepburn when I slipped off, and screamed "Mother FUCK!"

Which one would you rather hear about?

I could tell you that I'm just sitting hear, IMing some girl, and blogging. But doesn't it sound so much better if I say it in a weird voice, and I add that I'm also listening to Britney Spears while in my underwear, and that my eye is twitching? It may not be funny, but it is more humorous. I know I'd rather hear you say your mom busted ass then "she had a fall". 

Be funny, be outrageous.

I want everyone to know everything about me. I've been told I'm hard to "read". I'm going to be outgoing.

I feel very adventurous. There are so many doors to be opened, and I'm not afraid to look behind them.

I'm going to pull open a door and yell into it. What will I yell? Everything.

I haven't read any of the autobiographies about me,

So I guess I should take matter into my own hands.

Is it over yet?

Spring break, I mean....and this school year.

I'm flunking. Bad. I won't tell you my exact grades, but they're bad.

Algebra and Chemistry hate me. I can't seem to wrap my head around them. I know we need them. Right now, my brain is calculating the distances of keys from my fingers so I can type...sorta subconsciously. I know I need math in everyday life. I'm not stupid. Like I said before: I watch Tyra...I know shit. I also know that I need chemistry. Right now, my body is breaking down my breakfast and lunch, churning it about and causing chemical reactions to produce more vitamins and sugars needed to rush through my veins to my organs..my brain..my heart<3 I'm alive because of chemistry.

I had a test before spring break, you guys...Two. One in chemistry. One in Algebra. I honestly think I got an A+ on the Algebra, cause I studied soooo hard. I'm proud of myself, cause I'm finally starting to balance my life out two years into high school. Maybe a little late, but hey....whatcha gonna do?

The chemistry test is a whole 'nother story. I don't think I necessarily flunked it...but, I don't think I did so good. Maybe a C? That's good, right? No. Not for me. I have to be perfect. I'm all ready ugly and gay, and I can't change that. I need to be smart again.

You see, school was always easy for me till this year. I had all A's always. I never had to try or study, and now I need to...and I'm too lazy. Also, I'm not exactly surrrrrrrrrre how to study. But I do it, and I think it paid off for math this time<3

Something I do do good in is History. I have a passion for it. The art, the stories. The people. When I read the biography of Marie Antoinette and her husband, the King of France I cried. You see, they were forced to take control of a country in poverty and unhappiness. The French rose up against them and behead them. It doesn't seem so bad, I mean....It was bad, but not enough to make you cry, right?

I have a passion for history. I don't think of it as facts, it's people. These are lives we're talking about.

How do you think King Louis felt when the peasants broke into the palace and dragged his wife and children and himself away to jail by their hair? I bet he was scared. That grown man cried.

How do you think Marie felt when she learned her husband was beheaded, her children taken and touched, and that she was never going to see them again? How would you feel?

“I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long.”

The only surviving member of that royal family was  the eldest daughter, who was so scarred that she never had sex.

I hate when I say something about history, and the reply I get it is "I really don't remember much about Cleopatra. There were a lot of other things going on." It's true, but you should know something. Theses people are your brothers and your sisters. They were just like you. Do you want people to skim over you if you manage to dominate the entire ancient world? No, Cleopatra wouldn't want that either. She was brilliant.

My spring break, I regret to say, has been boring. I spent it worrying about my best friend's broken nose. She thinks I don't care. Honestly, the girl is annoying me. I do a lot for her, I stick up for her. I treat her great and share my secrets with her. I don't judge her. I'm a great friend, and she never seems to return the favors. She skims over me for her other friends. She doesn't want my company. It bothers me.

I "talked" to Chris a lot this week. The boy is so amazing.

He makes me feel like no one else exists..I love him so much. He finally makes me feel good about myself. That is why I love him so much. It's just not that he does that, it's just that...he goes out of his way to ensure my happiness and joy. He doesn't disappoint. Christopher is so amazing. It's been 74 days since I've heard his voice. It's hard with him living so far away. How can I be in love with someone who I don't see? It's simple. I just am. When I hear his voice, my heart beats so much. It beats really fast, and I can feel and hear it in my ears. My palms sweat, my mouth gets dry, and my knees become weak. His words do that to me. Just "Hello". When we first started dating, I doubted actually loving him. But then I started to cry just because I can't see him. I can't see his face everyday. I don't get to memorize the random dusting of freckles across his body, or the precise placement of moles and scars. I don't get to hug or touch him. No kisses...I have knots in my stomach right now, and I'm getting teary-eyed.

This is not just teenage shit. This is love. No one can understand but me and him. 

Emailing, Phone calls, fantasies, dreams and masturbation are not going to help, and they don't.

With love, I have it....We will be together forever and for eternity, I know it.

I'm starting to feel like it's not enough.

It's okay though. "1 1/2 years, Calib." Then I'll have the boy of my dreams.

I'm missing him, wishing he was here, in my arms.

Is it over yet? The 1 1/2 years? I want my baby boy.

I went to six flags with my new best friend, Olivia....not the broken nose hoe...lawl.

It was so funny, and fun. She's amazing. I feel like she gets me.

She also realizes I need to face the world. I fell off my cloud with a thud, and now I need to plant my feet firmly on the ground. Babies, I need to work on spreading my bubbles world wide. I want to be somebody. One bubble at a time<3

Remember, just 30 more years and people will get it.

Easter was great. School starts tomorrow. I'll have drama for you. Is it over yet? High School? Ugh.

Am I complicated?

I don't think so.

I just have a man's body and a child's emotions.

 *sigh*

History. Love. Chris. Art. Friends. Winters. Peace. GaGa. 

I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.

And the Bubbles<3